Paddy and Colleen were making passionate love in Paddy's mini van when suddenly Colleen yells, "Oh whip me, big boy, whip me!"
Paddy, not wanting to pass up this unique opportunity, obviously did not have any whips on hand, but in a flash of inspiration, he opens the window, snaps the antenna off his van and proceeds to whip Colleen until they both collapse in ecstasy.
About a week later, Colleen notices that the marks left by the whipping are starting to fester a bit so she goes to the doctor. The doctor takes one look at the wounds and asks, "Did you get these marks having sex?"
Colleen, a little embarrassed eventually admits that, yes, she did.
Nodding his head knowingly, the doctor exclaims,
"I thought so, because in all my years as a doctor, you've got the worst case of van- aerial disease that I've ever seen."
Paddy and Colleen
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I've just been to a ventriloquist's funeral - they sang the hymn "All Things Gright And Geautikal!"
I was on a date with a woman I met on Facebook.
I said, "I like honesty, and I can tell you're an honest girl."
"Really?" she asked. "How can you tell?"
I said, "You're the first girl I've been out with that actually looks like their profile photo."
She said, "That's a picture of Spongebob Squarepants, you cheeky twat."
I was pumping away on my new girlfriend last night, when I looked at her face, she looked really surprised.
So I stopped pumping, deflated her and put her back in the box.
I'll take her back today, I want one that looks scared.
Australian goes to the doctor...
"What's the problem?" the doctor asked.
He replied, "When I urinate, it smells of anything that I've eaten or drunk. For instance, if I eat Sugar Puffs it smells of Sugar Puffs or if I drink a chicken Cup-a-Soup, it smells of a chicken Cup-a-Soup. What can I do to make my p!## smell like p!##, doctor?"
"Have you tried drinking Foster's?"
I was on a date with a woman I met on Facebook.
I said, "I like honesty, and I can tell you're an honest girl."
"Really?" she asked. "How can you tell?"
I said, "You're the first girl I've been out with that actually looks like their profile photo."
She said, "That's a picture of Spongebob Squarepants, you cheeky twat."
I was pumping away on my new girlfriend last night, when I looked at her face, she looked really surprised.
So I stopped pumping, deflated her and put her back in the box.
I'll take her back today, I want one that looks scared.
Australian goes to the doctor...
"What's the problem?" the doctor asked.
He replied, "When I urinate, it smells of anything that I've eaten or drunk. For instance, if I eat Sugar Puffs it smells of Sugar Puffs or if I drink a chicken Cup-a-Soup, it smells of a chicken Cup-a-Soup. What can I do to make my p!## smell like p!##, doctor?"
"Have you tried drinking Foster's?"
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RegencyCheltenhamSpa
- Posts: 29825
- Joined: 21 Nov 2009, 03:27
Last post started off with perhaps the worst joke ever written on here and ended with one of the best. Good progress!
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RegencyCheltenhamSpa
- Posts: 29825
- Joined: 21 Nov 2009, 03:27
Probably funnier if you're in Australia where I assume you the joke from - Aboriginal issue not relevant to the UK.
Come on Nesty - tailor your jokes to your audience!
Come on Nesty - tailor your jokes to your audience!