Warning
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure,
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you. Warn all your friends
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Entered the wife into a saggy t1ts comp
last week. She wiped the floor with them...
Jokes
Moderators: Admin, Ralph, asl, Robin
Will try to improve!
paddy told the wife he was getting a burning
sensation in his anus and didn't know what it was.
She said "ring sting".
Paddy said "how the feck will he know"?
...........................................
Paddy rings his new girlfriends door bell,
with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door sees the flowers and
drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt
up, rips her knickers off and says "this is
for the flowers!"
"Dont be stupid" says Paddy "you must have a
vase somewhere!"
paddy told the wife he was getting a burning
sensation in his anus and didn't know what it was.
She said "ring sting".
Paddy said "how the feck will he know"?
...........................................
Paddy rings his new girlfriends door bell,
with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door sees the flowers and
drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt
up, rips her knickers off and says "this is
for the flowers!"
"Dont be stupid" says Paddy "you must have a
vase somewhere!"
Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days.
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."
A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Irish sausage?"
The assistant asks, "Are you Irish?"
The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for Italian sausage, would you ask me if I was Italian?
Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?
Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?
Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican?
Or if I asked for Polish sausage, would you ask if I was Polish?"
The assistant says, "No, I probably wouldn't."
The guy says, "Well then, just because I asked for Irish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm Irish?"
The assistant replied, "Because you're in Halfords."
-
Andy
Malabus wrote:Is life that bad that I'm actually reading this thread.
Funniest joke on this thread...Malabus reading !!!!!???
