Me and a few of my colleagues may be losing our jobs at the hospital this week, where we wash, sanitise and shave patients due for spinal surgery. There's been a lot of cut backs lately.
My wife says that she won't allow me to name our newly born son with an insect surname.
But I'm quite Adam Ant about it.
My girlfriend left me because I'm always going on about which foods are the best sources of vitamins.
Oh well, there's plenty of C in the fish.
How does an Irish psychologist like his eggs?
Freud
just had to take my son to A&E to have the iphone that he stuck up hiss ass removed,
the doctor told us '' we've got a opp for that ''
How times have changed. My son came home from school the other day and told me he won a spelling bee. When I was at school I won a horse that could do algebra
My Dad is dyslexic so perhaps it wasn't my best idea to buy him a bumper wordsearch book for fathers day.
He actually seemed quite touched but he didn't even thank me , he just couldn't find the words.
The girl next door used to let come in her tree house and touch her up a bit.
But then we fell out.
My mate told me last night that he won a darts match with a double 25.
But I think he's talking bull
to lighten the mood
Moderators: Admin, Ralph, asl, Robin
Woman in a jewellers admiring a big diamond
ring. As she leans down for a closer look
a big fart lets rip.
Hoping no one noticed she asks, how much is
that one? The jeweller says, madam, if you
farted looking at it, you'll sh1t yourself
when i tell you the price...
ring. As she leans down for a closer look
a big fart lets rip.
Hoping no one noticed she asks, how much is
that one? The jeweller says, madam, if you
farted looking at it, you'll sh1t yourself
when i tell you the price...
-
Andy
Just been to my Nan's, and fair play to her, at 96, she has the Halloween decorations up ready, cobwebs and insects in the windows and even a skeleton on the couch.
She always makes an effort, but there was no answer so I guess I'll pop back next year.
She always makes an effort, but there was no answer so I guess I'll pop back next year.
A cardiff favorite...
I was at the bar last night and overheard three very, very, hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, WALES you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. So are you three whales from Scotland?"
That's the last thing I remember.
I was at the bar last night and overheard three very, very, hefty women talking.
Their accent appeared to be Scottish, so I approached and asked, "Hello, are you three lassies from Scotland?"
One of them angrily screeched, "It's Wales, WALES you bloody idiot!"
So I apologized and replied, "I am so sorry. So are you three whales from Scotland?"
That's the last thing I remember.